This year's lantern did not win any prize.
And as for our production number, we got 2nd prize. Our Cluster usually bags the top prize. But this time, we were second best out of three entries.
Yes, i am very much disappointed. The turnout of events was not worth the sacrifices i made.
But then, yeah, one can't have it all.
Screw them.
>:P
Friday, December 21, 2007
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Bureau Christmas Party
It's my 5th Christmas Party with the Bureau, and i'm getting a little nostalgic.
I remember my first Christmas with them, when i was a newbie. I entered the government service in November, and in a few days i've already noticed that the office has different groups (factions may be the most suitable word). But hey, wala namang perfect na organization diba?
Every office has its ups and downs. But when December comes, people here set aside their differences to work together for the season's activities (the annual lantern parade, the production numbers/performances for the agency-wide Christmas party and competitions). I don't care if they're just being "plastic" to one another. All i care about is that even if we have our differences (and some quarrels), we still try to tolerate each other for the sake of Christmas and get together like one big family. Call me naive, but that's just how i see things. I always try to focus on what is good.
In this year's Christmas Party, they gave me the heads up for the program and games. I look at each happy face. I thank God for moments like this. The Bureau has had its changes in personnel lineup (some had been called back by The Big Boss Up There, while some moved to other offices and some others were already retirees), but nevertheless, we are still one big family celebrating the joyous season.
Merry Christmas, HHRDB!
I remember my first Christmas with them, when i was a newbie. I entered the government service in November, and in a few days i've already noticed that the office has different groups (factions may be the most suitable word). But hey, wala namang perfect na organization diba?
Every office has its ups and downs. But when December comes, people here set aside their differences to work together for the season's activities (the annual lantern parade, the production numbers/performances for the agency-wide Christmas party and competitions). I don't care if they're just being "plastic" to one another. All i care about is that even if we have our differences (and some quarrels), we still try to tolerate each other for the sake of Christmas and get together like one big family. Call me naive, but that's just how i see things. I always try to focus on what is good.
In this year's Christmas Party, they gave me the heads up for the program and games. I look at each happy face. I thank God for moments like this. The Bureau has had its changes in personnel lineup (some had been called back by The Big Boss Up There, while some moved to other offices and some others were already retirees), but nevertheless, we are still one big family celebrating the joyous season.
Merry Christmas, HHRDB!
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
"one step closer to the edge, and i'm about to break!"
I was supposed to be on leave today. But i still went to work. I had my LOA scheduled earlier but now that the party is in two days, i'm up to my neck with activities.
The day started very early for me. Sang in the dawn mass at 5:00 am. Cold caught me already. Then i had to learn the moves that i would be teaching my cluster mates for the production number we'll be performing for the Christmas party in two days. And i'm still about to come up with a program for tomorrow's Bureau Christmas Party.
Call time for the practice was 10:00AM. People arrived a couple of hours later. Waaay later! And yet what we're practicing is supposed to be an entry for a competition.
Let this be the last time things like these happen. I think i've done enough sacrifices already.
The day started very early for me. Sang in the dawn mass at 5:00 am. Cold caught me already. Then i had to learn the moves that i would be teaching my cluster mates for the production number we'll be performing for the Christmas party in two days. And i'm still about to come up with a program for tomorrow's Bureau Christmas Party.
Call time for the practice was 10:00AM. People arrived a couple of hours later. Waaay later! And yet what we're practicing is supposed to be an entry for a competition.
Let this be the last time things like these happen. I think i've done enough sacrifices already.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Cold Case
Feeling extremely thirsty even after having gulped almost a liter of water. My throat feels parched still. Voice getting hoarse. Signs that i'm going down with a cold. Remind myself to take extra doses of vitamin C.
Can't get sick now. There are things to do: sing in the Misa de Gallo (dawn mass), practice for the DOH Christmas party presentation, plan the program for the Bureau Christmas party.
*sigh*
It's always been like this--getting sick during the Christmas season. This should be the time when work is not hectic and people shop for gifts, but it's the opposite for me. I couldn't squeeze gift shopping in my tight schedule. Rehearsals for production numbers take most of my time after office hours. But in the previous years, i was still able to push through things.
my one minute of fame during last year's Christmas presentation.
partida, may sipon pa ako nyan! hehehe!
this presentation won grand prize
I hope i could still survive the Christmas rush this year.
Let's keep our fingers crossed!
Can't get sick now. There are things to do: sing in the Misa de Gallo (dawn mass), practice for the DOH Christmas party presentation, plan the program for the Bureau Christmas party.
*sigh*
It's always been like this--getting sick during the Christmas season. This should be the time when work is not hectic and people shop for gifts, but it's the opposite for me. I couldn't squeeze gift shopping in my tight schedule. Rehearsals for production numbers take most of my time after office hours. But in the previous years, i was still able to push through things.
my one minute of fame during last year's Christmas presentation. partida, may sipon pa ako nyan! hehehe!
this presentation won grand prize
I hope i could still survive the Christmas rush this year.
Let's keep our fingers crossed!
Monday, December 17, 2007
this is how we do it
Back at the office today just in time for the annual lantern parade. Since our "resident jack-of-all-trades" Ekyu left the Bureau, the task of coming up with an entry for our office was delegated to other personnel who also have artistic skills. Last year's lantern (that got the "Most Creative" Award) was conceptualized by Tsari and worked on by some officemates.Meanwhile, this year's lantern was conceptualized by another colleague whose forte is with native materials. It's less colorful than our previous lanterns, but it's got a class of its own.
Awarding of winners is on Friday, so keep tuned in!
you gotta be this lucky...
I bought this pair of shoes three days ago. I've saved up enough money to buy a decent pair of running shoes as an external motivation for my weekly jog.Price Tag: US$46 (roughly Php 1,900++)
The next day, my sister sent me an SMS that a package arrived from our cousins in Las Vegas and this pair of shoes was being sold for Php500. My brother picked this out for me, knowing that i've been wanting to buy running shoes.The initial reaction was: "Whaat! Should i've known that there's a package coming, I never would've bought those shoes that cost me almost two thousand freaking pesos!"
But when the shock wore off, I had a grin on my face and told myself, "I only wanted one. Now i got two pairs of running shoes!"
There's nothing better than this.
;)
walking by myself from the office
7:30 PM
Passed by the chapel but its huge doors were already closed. So i just uttered my thanksgiving prayer while i walked towards the covered walkway near Finance Building. The leaves of the trees were rustling and i felt the cool December wind blowing when i reached the open space of the compound. I closed my eyes for a while and inhaled deeply, feeling the wind on my face. I thank God for moments like that.
Out on the street, past the intersection, towards the other streetcorner where fruit vendors were lined up beside one another. My nose was pleasantly bombarded y the smell of mandarin oranges. I would've bought some to bring home but my hands were already full.
Colorful lanterns were hung everywhere. Christmas lights dance before my very eyes to the tune of "Jingle Bells". Loudspeakers in front of the beauty parlors fill my ears with Christmas songs. I smiled a little smile. But it was my heart that smiled the widest.
The night was brighter. And despite the cold weather, I have this warm feeling inside me that makes me feel good. It's telling me that things are gonna get better. I was happy.
I never noticed these things before when i walked these streets with somebody. And during the first few weeks when i had no choice but to walk by myself, i was always afraid and in tears. But lately, i'm getting the hang of it.
The night was brighter. The sounds were clearer. The mood was lighter. Everywhere i turn, the things i see make me thank God for the small but meaningful things around me.
Every smile i see was greeted back with a smile. But it was my heart that smiled the widest.
;)
Passed by the chapel but its huge doors were already closed. So i just uttered my thanksgiving prayer while i walked towards the covered walkway near Finance Building. The leaves of the trees were rustling and i felt the cool December wind blowing when i reached the open space of the compound. I closed my eyes for a while and inhaled deeply, feeling the wind on my face. I thank God for moments like that.
Out on the street, past the intersection, towards the other streetcorner where fruit vendors were lined up beside one another. My nose was pleasantly bombarded y the smell of mandarin oranges. I would've bought some to bring home but my hands were already full.
Colorful lanterns were hung everywhere. Christmas lights dance before my very eyes to the tune of "Jingle Bells". Loudspeakers in front of the beauty parlors fill my ears with Christmas songs. I smiled a little smile. But it was my heart that smiled the widest.
The night was brighter. And despite the cold weather, I have this warm feeling inside me that makes me feel good. It's telling me that things are gonna get better. I was happy.
I never noticed these things before when i walked these streets with somebody. And during the first few weeks when i had no choice but to walk by myself, i was always afraid and in tears. But lately, i'm getting the hang of it.
The night was brighter. The sounds were clearer. The mood was lighter. Everywhere i turn, the things i see make me thank God for the small but meaningful things around me.
Every smile i see was greeted back with a smile. But it was my heart that smiled the widest.
;)
Sunday, December 16, 2007
accomplishment
i don't know if i should be proud of this considering i was just a "filler" for the course. But with all the new learning i've benefited from it, i think i should be.and it's kinda like an "i passed a bloody week of studying" certificate.
;P
lots of things can change in a matter of seven days
It's good to be back home!
I can see familiar faces as i got my luggage from the taxi and dragged myself to the gate of our compound.
But wait... it's the same house, but it feels different.
Perhaps because it was tidier than when i left it?
Or because it was brighter then usual?
It's still the same house.
Perhaps i just got used to living by myself in my hotel room for a week, with its dim lighting, continuous flow of water, airconditioning, no pollution (i hate cigarette smoke!), no dishes to wash, no laundry.
I went outside to see children have grown so fast! In a week's time! Gee, i spent seven days cooped up inside the hotel for a training and.... i missed out on a lot of things!
in the blink of an eye....
....someone, somewhere celebrates his/her birthday
....someone is mending a broken heart
....someone is forced to "grow up" fast and leave childish things behind.
Seven days felt like seven years already.
I'm glad to be back home.
I can see familiar faces as i got my luggage from the taxi and dragged myself to the gate of our compound.
But wait... it's the same house, but it feels different.
Perhaps because it was tidier than when i left it?
Or because it was brighter then usual?
It's still the same house.
Perhaps i just got used to living by myself in my hotel room for a week, with its dim lighting, continuous flow of water, airconditioning, no pollution (i hate cigarette smoke!), no dishes to wash, no laundry.
I went outside to see children have grown so fast! In a week's time! Gee, i spent seven days cooped up inside the hotel for a training and.... i missed out on a lot of things!
in the blink of an eye....
....someone, somewhere celebrates his/her birthday
....someone is mending a broken heart
....someone is forced to "grow up" fast and leave childish things behind.
Seven days felt like seven years already.
I'm glad to be back home.
Monday, December 10, 2007
can u tell me again why i'm here?
First day of class for the Project Development & Management Course for Local Health Implementors.
Is it just me or am i really not supposed to be here?
1. All of the participants are from the Local Government Units of Oriental Mindoro except me (and two other colleagues from the Central Office)
2. Most of them are doctors, budget officers, BAC officers, etc from their respective units. In short, the course is tailor-made for them.
3. I was informed that i should attend this today, but the rest were already in the venue since yesterday.
4. I get the feeling that i'm gonna be a filler again. Like last time.
But then...
1. As i have said, it's a good excuse to get out of the office.
2. This will be useful someday.
3. Not everybody gets this kind of opportunity to be sent to a training of this kind even if i'm just a "filler."
So, might as well, take in whatever learning there is to absorb from this course and have fun!
Is it just me or am i really not supposed to be here?
1. All of the participants are from the Local Government Units of Oriental Mindoro except me (and two other colleagues from the Central Office)
2. Most of them are doctors, budget officers, BAC officers, etc from their respective units. In short, the course is tailor-made for them.
3. I was informed that i should attend this today, but the rest were already in the venue since yesterday.
4. I get the feeling that i'm gonna be a filler again. Like last time.
But then...
1. As i have said, it's a good excuse to get out of the office.
2. This will be useful someday.
3. Not everybody gets this kind of opportunity to be sent to a training of this kind even if i'm just a "filler."
So, might as well, take in whatever learning there is to absorb from this course and have fun!
Sunday, December 09, 2007
we all have to go through bad days but hey, you can't have everything
updates, updates.
yeah, it's been a while since my last post.
i was supposed to be at Puerto Galera a couple of weeks ago but i backed out at the last minute because i needed to wallow again in my "miserable ex-girlfriend who got dumped twice and i really need to hide in my shell" mode. I was even about to do something really stupid that i would regret later on, but i was talked out of it by a very good pal. And the rest, so they say, is history.
= = =
Finally!
Done with grieving. Dealt with denial. Here comes acceptance and a newfound confidence.
And happier days....
and opportunities...
and lots of good stuff i have denied/deprived myself of in one way or another because i have been obsessing over something that i'm not supposed to have right now.
I'm at a stage i would call re-focusing.
Getting my feet back to the road i once walked on before i got sidetracked by some of this life's distractions.
= = =
Part of this re-focusing thingy is attending a one-week course on Project Development and Management starting tomorrow.
It's time once again to absorb some new learning experiences. Plus, it's another excuse to get out of the office!
= = =
*sigh*
the worst is over.
the rainclouds gave way to sunshine.
the flowers seem to be more colorful these days.
and i'm having this warm feeling inside that makes the cold December nights a little more bearable.
= = =
As always, I'm thankful and will always be grateful that someone up there loves me still.
May we always remember to count our blessings no matter how difficult these times may be.
Cheers!
yeah, it's been a while since my last post.
i was supposed to be at Puerto Galera a couple of weeks ago but i backed out at the last minute because i needed to wallow again in my "miserable ex-girlfriend who got dumped twice and i really need to hide in my shell" mode. I was even about to do something really stupid that i would regret later on, but i was talked out of it by a very good pal. And the rest, so they say, is history.
= = =
Finally!
Done with grieving. Dealt with denial. Here comes acceptance and a newfound confidence.
And happier days....
and opportunities...
and lots of good stuff i have denied/deprived myself of in one way or another because i have been obsessing over something that i'm not supposed to have right now.
I'm at a stage i would call re-focusing.
Getting my feet back to the road i once walked on before i got sidetracked by some of this life's distractions.
= = =
Part of this re-focusing thingy is attending a one-week course on Project Development and Management starting tomorrow.
It's time once again to absorb some new learning experiences. Plus, it's another excuse to get out of the office!
= = =
*sigh*
the worst is over.
the rainclouds gave way to sunshine.
the flowers seem to be more colorful these days.
and i'm having this warm feeling inside that makes the cold December nights a little more bearable.
= = =
As always, I'm thankful and will always be grateful that someone up there loves me still.
May we always remember to count our blessings no matter how difficult these times may be.
Cheers!
Saturday, December 01, 2007
It's good for you!
It's good to be back to blogging and writing about happy things again as i had been sucked by the "blue bug" and couldn't get out of the "black hole" for a couple of weeks. Good thing there are people i call friends who helped me snap out of it and pulled me out.
Anyway, here's a fresh way start the month with.
Have you had your veggies today?
Anyway, here's a fresh way start the month with.
Have you had your veggies today?
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Jampacked Friday
I thought this was gonna be a breezy day.
I was wrong.
Had to pinch hit for a colleague (who was out on field work) and facilitate the administrative concerns as preparation for yet another field work next week which i will be joining as well. Destination: Puerto Galera in Oriental Mindoro. It's gonna be my 2nd time there, but that's another story.
And so while everyone else are enjoying the program during the birthday celebration of one of the agency's bosses, I was making calls and trying to control my irritation over some people's lack of concern for something that should've been attended to a couple of weeks before.
i had to sneak a peek for a while there
I was juggling other colleagues' work with mine. But with coordination and dogged persistence, i was finally able to reconcile some conflicts concerning next week's task. Problem solved.
By 6pm i was on my way to attend the birthday party of my officemate's kid.
the cute birthday boy
I was wrong.
Had to pinch hit for a colleague (who was out on field work) and facilitate the administrative concerns as preparation for yet another field work next week which i will be joining as well. Destination: Puerto Galera in Oriental Mindoro. It's gonna be my 2nd time there, but that's another story.
And so while everyone else are enjoying the program during the birthday celebration of one of the agency's bosses, I was making calls and trying to control my irritation over some people's lack of concern for something that should've been attended to a couple of weeks before.
i had to sneak a peek for a while there
I was juggling other colleagues' work with mine. But with coordination and dogged persistence, i was finally able to reconcile some conflicts concerning next week's task. Problem solved.
By 6pm i was on my way to attend the birthday party of my officemate's kid.
the cute birthday boy
Rushed to the airport by 7:30pm to fetch colleagues from Laoag. Our office driver didn't want to go alone so i had to go with him to NAIA Terminal 2. Flight from Laoag was delayed so there wasn't anything else to do but wait and chat with the driver.
The sacrifices you have to make in the exigency of the service. Oh well! As i usually say, things happen!
It's a Friday anyway. No work tomorrow and i can sleep all day if i want!
Back at work station by 11pm but still had time to check out a local watering hole nearby called Politika. The joint was rather small, but tastefully done. There was no live band (unlike the Panulukan just across the street) but they have soothing bossa music in the background. My only problem was the cigarette smoke.
Some of the artworks that decked the walls (and every other part) of the joint
But overall, the place is good for catching up with friends and chat the night away while enjoying Politika's house pizza -- a very simple one with onions, tomatoes, cream cheese, salted egg and mozzarella cheese as toppings.
Home by 1:30am. Tired and sleepy. It had been, however, a fulfilling day.
Good night.
along the way
the Manila City Hall and the Clock Tower
the Manila City Hall and the Clock Tower
The sacrifices you have to make in the exigency of the service. Oh well! As i usually say, things happen!
It's a Friday anyway. No work tomorrow and i can sleep all day if i want!
Back at work station by 11pm but still had time to check out a local watering hole nearby called Politika. The joint was rather small, but tastefully done. There was no live band (unlike the Panulukan just across the street) but they have soothing bossa music in the background. My only problem was the cigarette smoke.
Some of the artworks that decked the walls (and every other part) of the joint
first time to try a vodka mudshake
tasted kinda like Bailey's Irish Cream
tasted kinda like Bailey's Irish Cream
Home by 1:30am. Tired and sleepy. It had been, however, a fulfilling day.
Good night.
Thursday, November 22, 2007
His Lucky Day
Was at the mall with my buddy Manny to buy a birthday gift for an officemate's kid. Had a hard time picking a gift suitable for a 2-year old boy. Manny bought a toy truck, while i wanted something educational for the kid, but those kinds are way beyond my budget.
I ended up buying a toy piano. Manny said it was perfectly fine.
"Who knows, he might grow up to be an excellent pianist someday!" he said.
So after paying for the items, we went to the gift wrapping section where there was a long line of customers. Manny, being the gentleman that he is, offered to wait in line with our gifts as he let me look around the mall for a while.
I came back after a few minutes to check on him. He looked a little bored and perhaps a little worried about his bet at the OTB (off-track betting station) coz he was there before we headed for the nearby mall.
"Don't worry Manny, your bet will win." i said all of a sudden.
His mood brightened up for a while, and after our gifts have been wrapped, i headed home while Manny went back to the OTB.
= = =
Most times, i'd like to think that i have a certain kind of gift. Well, yeah, aside from the birthday gift that i bought. Coz whenever i blurt out something out of the blue, like when i say that something's gonna happen, it does happen!
And usually, the things i say are just like passing comments that i forget about after a few minutes.
= = =
So when i got home, i was surprised to get an SMS from Manny.
You're right Tsiki. I won 600 bucks from my bet. Have a good night.
I guess i should be blurting out more positive things then!
I ended up buying a toy piano. Manny said it was perfectly fine.
"Who knows, he might grow up to be an excellent pianist someday!" he said.
So after paying for the items, we went to the gift wrapping section where there was a long line of customers. Manny, being the gentleman that he is, offered to wait in line with our gifts as he let me look around the mall for a while.
I came back after a few minutes to check on him. He looked a little bored and perhaps a little worried about his bet at the OTB (off-track betting station) coz he was there before we headed for the nearby mall.
"Don't worry Manny, your bet will win." i said all of a sudden.
His mood brightened up for a while, and after our gifts have been wrapped, i headed home while Manny went back to the OTB.
= = =
Most times, i'd like to think that i have a certain kind of gift. Well, yeah, aside from the birthday gift that i bought. Coz whenever i blurt out something out of the blue, like when i say that something's gonna happen, it does happen!
And usually, the things i say are just like passing comments that i forget about after a few minutes.
= = =
So when i got home, i was surprised to get an SMS from Manny.
You're right Tsiki. I won 600 bucks from my bet. Have a good night.
I guess i should be blurting out more positive things then!
Baby
It was already dark when i got out of the office, but i still had to go to the nearby mall to get some personal stuff and pay for my cellphone bill.
I hated going to the mall by myself. But now i had to. I'll have no more shopping companion since he called it quits. And even if he said we'll remain friends, i don't think he can be able to accompany me on such activities. I can no longer invite him to go malling, or strolling at the park. He'll be accompanying someone else now.
There was no one else to tag along, so i had to grin and bear it this time. No one to talk with while waiting at the checkout counter and lining up at the bills payment section.
After almost 45 minutes, i finally boarded a jeepney headed home. Seated in front of me was a lovely pregnant woman with her husband. I usually don't mind other passengers in the jeepney. But when i saw the couple in front of me, memories began to flood my thoughts.
Memories that seemed like it was just yesterday...
"I want twins--a boy and a girl." I smiled my big, dreamy smile while we were cuddled up and having our usual talk sessions.
"You sure you want twins?" he asked, relishing the idea.
"Yeah, why not? We'll name the boy Denver, and the girl will be Aspen."
"That's great!" He kissed my forehead, caressed my cheek and buried his face in my hair.
"You'd be one hot momma. I wonder how you'd look like when you're pregnant already." He was teasing me again. He wanted to have babies--the sooner, the better.
"I'm sure i'll be one hot momma. But for now, i'm perfectly fine with my one and only baby--YOU! The twins can wait til we're stable enough to raise them, okay?" I gave him a tight hug and kissed him gently on his nose and a deep one on his lips.
I tried to shake it off and closed my eyes. But it was his face i saw at the back of my mind.
"Darn it!" I muttered while letting out a sigh.
He's with someone else now, and working hard to start a family.
I wonder if he still remembers that talk we had... when we were planning for our future together, with twins we'll call Denver and Aspen.
Maybe not anymore. He's got different plans now. And will be having a family of his own.
I looked outside and stared at the headlights of a car behind me til my eyes hurt and tears threaten to fall.
"Well," i thought "he's gonna have to think of other names for his kids now."
I hated going to the mall by myself. But now i had to. I'll have no more shopping companion since he called it quits. And even if he said we'll remain friends, i don't think he can be able to accompany me on such activities. I can no longer invite him to go malling, or strolling at the park. He'll be accompanying someone else now.
There was no one else to tag along, so i had to grin and bear it this time. No one to talk with while waiting at the checkout counter and lining up at the bills payment section.
After almost 45 minutes, i finally boarded a jeepney headed home. Seated in front of me was a lovely pregnant woman with her husband. I usually don't mind other passengers in the jeepney. But when i saw the couple in front of me, memories began to flood my thoughts.
Memories that seemed like it was just yesterday...
"I want twins--a boy and a girl." I smiled my big, dreamy smile while we were cuddled up and having our usual talk sessions.
"You sure you want twins?" he asked, relishing the idea.
"Yeah, why not? We'll name the boy Denver, and the girl will be Aspen."
"That's great!" He kissed my forehead, caressed my cheek and buried his face in my hair.
"You'd be one hot momma. I wonder how you'd look like when you're pregnant already." He was teasing me again. He wanted to have babies--the sooner, the better.
"I'm sure i'll be one hot momma. But for now, i'm perfectly fine with my one and only baby--YOU! The twins can wait til we're stable enough to raise them, okay?" I gave him a tight hug and kissed him gently on his nose and a deep one on his lips.
I tried to shake it off and closed my eyes. But it was his face i saw at the back of my mind.
"Darn it!" I muttered while letting out a sigh.
He's with someone else now, and working hard to start a family.
I wonder if he still remembers that talk we had... when we were planning for our future together, with twins we'll call Denver and Aspen.
Maybe not anymore. He's got different plans now. And will be having a family of his own.
I looked outside and stared at the headlights of a car behind me til my eyes hurt and tears threaten to fall.
"Well," i thought "he's gonna have to think of other names for his kids now."
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Gone Straight
me with my natural curls a month ago................ and me since Sunday
Vote for your favorite hairstyle!
Various Positions
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Monday, November 19, 2007
Surrender
I may have the talent and creativity...
I may have the "grand idea"...
I may have done what others viewed as impossible...
But I'm no superwoman.
And sometimes, after weighing all the pros and cons...
there are cases when i have to accept that things are beyond my control.
So i had to tell the boss:
"We can't have the production number, sir."
To which the boss said:
"OK. Let's have the Plan B."
And it was fine with me-- and for most of us, who really cannot join the group for some unavoidable reasons.
I convince myself afterwards, "it's ok girl. It's not your fault. Next time will be better."
I may have the "grand idea"...
I may have done what others viewed as impossible...
But I'm no superwoman.
And sometimes, after weighing all the pros and cons...
there are cases when i have to accept that things are beyond my control.
So i had to tell the boss:
"We can't have the production number, sir."
To which the boss said:
"OK. Let's have the Plan B."
And it was fine with me-- and for most of us, who really cannot join the group for some unavoidable reasons.
I convince myself afterwards, "it's ok girl. It's not your fault. Next time will be better."
He Said, She Said...
He said:
Hi,
You asked me to explain my message that "I'm not the right person and you want something else now."
I last wrote you Oct 29 but you never responded so I assumed you werent interested in me.
But I saw your new photos. I liked the halloween ones and then later I saw a new main photo. I like you because you seem so playful and lively. I havent really seen the serious side that I think must be there from your psychology background and "field work." But Im a serious rather intellectual and introspective person. Im lively but not like in your halloween photo. So the contrast between how I imagine us seemed too much. I felt the age difference much more strongly, even though my ex was 27 years younger. Maybe where we are in our lives is too different?
Also I want to get married and I have the impression you are looking for a friend or an activity partner now.
What I wrote was just my feeling. I could be wrong because I really dont know you.
I hope I have answered your question. I would like to hear your response.
She said:
Hello,
I'm sorry you felt that way. I guess i was just too busy with a lot of things that i wasn't able to reply to your previous messages. It just happened that i was in the middle of things (some life-changing ones i'd rather not explain).
It's nice to know that you saw me as a fun person, contrary to what most people think, having the first impression that i'm all serious and boring. But wasn't it you who observed (from my profile) that i am a mixture of extremes? Aside from being a fun person, I am particularly an introspective person, if not very intellectual.
Yes, you don't know me very well. A lot of people can't understand my personality.
And right now, i'm not thinking about getting married yet. I have just come from a break-up a couple of months ago because my ex wanted to settle down already. And he couldn't wait, so he left. No, i'm not commitment phobic. It's just that i didn't feel i was ready. I'm sure i'll get to that point someday.
As of now, i'm building new friendships (while rekindling old ones and recovering lost ones).
So, yeah, maybe i'm not the right person coz you want something else now.
I hope my response was clear enough.
Hi,
You asked me to explain my message that "I'm not the right person and you want something else now."
I last wrote you Oct 29 but you never responded so I assumed you werent interested in me.
But I saw your new photos. I liked the halloween ones and then later I saw a new main photo. I like you because you seem so playful and lively. I havent really seen the serious side that I think must be there from your psychology background and "field work." But Im a serious rather intellectual and introspective person. Im lively but not like in your halloween photo. So the contrast between how I imagine us seemed too much. I felt the age difference much more strongly, even though my ex was 27 years younger. Maybe where we are in our lives is too different?
Also I want to get married and I have the impression you are looking for a friend or an activity partner now.
What I wrote was just my feeling. I could be wrong because I really dont know you.
I hope I have answered your question. I would like to hear your response.
She said:
Hello,
I'm sorry you felt that way. I guess i was just too busy with a lot of things that i wasn't able to reply to your previous messages. It just happened that i was in the middle of things (some life-changing ones i'd rather not explain).
It's nice to know that you saw me as a fun person, contrary to what most people think, having the first impression that i'm all serious and boring. But wasn't it you who observed (from my profile) that i am a mixture of extremes? Aside from being a fun person, I am particularly an introspective person, if not very intellectual.
Yes, you don't know me very well. A lot of people can't understand my personality.
And right now, i'm not thinking about getting married yet. I have just come from a break-up a couple of months ago because my ex wanted to settle down already. And he couldn't wait, so he left. No, i'm not commitment phobic. It's just that i didn't feel i was ready. I'm sure i'll get to that point someday.
As of now, i'm building new friendships (while rekindling old ones and recovering lost ones).
So, yeah, maybe i'm not the right person coz you want something else now.
I hope my response was clear enough.
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Down The Road
patiently, i waited,
but i waited in vain.
no, there won't be a final kiss.
there wasn't even a first kiss.
there was only a faint image
of your back towards me
and a deafening silence.
i reached for you,
only to find out
there wasn't anything to hold on to.
no outstretched hand,
no words of comfort,
nothing at all.
you never spoke of the words
i long to hear.
you only gave me promises,
sugar-coated words
that have lost their sweetness.
no meaning at all.
it's wrong to say i have lost you.
i never had your heart
like the way you had mine
and somewhere along the way...
you lost me.
- October 13, 2003
= = =
(was doing some cleaning yesterday when i stumbled upon my old notebooks. Brought back memories. I remember the boy, but i don't remember the feeling anymore. Haha! Y'all gonna see some more of these kind pretty soon!)
but i waited in vain.
no, there won't be a final kiss.
there wasn't even a first kiss.
there was only a faint image
of your back towards me
and a deafening silence.
i reached for you,
only to find out
there wasn't anything to hold on to.
no outstretched hand,
no words of comfort,
nothing at all.
you never spoke of the words
i long to hear.
you only gave me promises,
sugar-coated words
that have lost their sweetness.
no meaning at all.
it's wrong to say i have lost you.
i never had your heart
like the way you had mine
and somewhere along the way...
you lost me.
- October 13, 2003
= = =
(was doing some cleaning yesterday when i stumbled upon my old notebooks. Brought back memories. I remember the boy, but i don't remember the feeling anymore. Haha! Y'all gonna see some more of these kind pretty soon!)
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