accomplishment

i don't know if i should be proud of this considering i was just a "filler" for the course. But with all the new learning i've benefited from it, i think i should be.

and it's kinda like an "i passed a bloody week of studying" certificate.

;P

lots of things can change in a matter of seven days

It's good to be back home!

I can see familiar faces as i got my luggage from the taxi and dragged myself to the gate of our compound.

But wait... it's the same house, but it feels different.

Perhaps because it was tidier than when i left it?
Or because it was brighter then usual?

It's still the same house.

Perhaps i just got used to living by myself in my hotel room for a week, with its dim lighting, continuous flow of water, airconditioning, no pollution (i hate cigarette smoke!), no dishes to wash, no laundry.

I went outside to see children have grown so fast! In a week's time! Gee, i spent seven days cooped up inside the hotel for a training and.... i missed out on a lot of things!

in the blink of an eye....
....someone, somewhere celebrates his/her birthday
....someone is mending a broken heart
....someone is forced to "grow up" fast and leave childish things behind.

Seven days felt like seven years already.

I'm glad to be back home.

can u tell me again why i'm here?

First day of class for the Project Development & Management Course for Local Health Implementors.

Is it just me or am i really not supposed to be here?
1. All of the participants are from the Local Government Units of Oriental Mindoro except me (and two other colleagues from the Central Office)
2. Most of them are doctors, budget officers, BAC officers, etc from their respective units. In short, the course is tailor-made for them.
3. I was informed that i should attend this today, but the rest were already in the venue since yesterday.
4. I get the feeling that i'm gonna be a filler again. Like last time.


But then...
1. As i have said, it's a good excuse to get out of the office.
2. This will be useful someday.
3. Not everybody gets this kind of opportunity to be sent to a training of this kind even if i'm just a "filler."

So, might as well, take in whatever learning there is to absorb from this course and have fun!

we all have to go through bad days but hey, you can't have everything

updates, updates.

yeah, it's been a while since my last post.

i was supposed to be at Puerto Galera a couple of weeks ago but i backed out at the last minute because i needed to wallow again in my "miserable ex-girlfriend who got dumped twice and i really need to hide in my shell" mode. I was even about to do something really stupid that i would regret later on, but i was talked out of it by a very good pal. And the rest, so they say, is history.


= = =


Finally!
Done with grieving. Dealt with denial. Here comes acceptance and a newfound confidence.

And happier days....

and opportunities...

and lots of good stuff i have denied/deprived myself of in one way or another because i have been obsessing over something that i'm not supposed to have right now.

I'm at a stage i would call re-focusing.
Getting my feet back to the road i once walked on before i got sidetracked by some of this life's distractions.


= = =


Part of this re-focusing thingy is attending a one-week course on Project Development and Management starting tomorrow.

It's time once again to absorb some new learning experiences. Plus, it's another excuse to get out of the office!


= = =


*sigh*


the worst is over.
the rainclouds gave way to sunshine.
the flowers seem to be more colorful these days.
and i'm having this warm feeling inside that makes the cold December nights a little more bearable.


= = =


As always, I'm thankful and will always be grateful that someone up there loves me still.

May we always remember to count our blessings no matter how difficult these times may be.

Cheers!

It's good for you!

It's good to be back to blogging and writing about happy things again as i had been sucked by the "blue bug" and couldn't get out of the "black hole" for a couple of weeks. Good thing there are people i call friends who helped me snap out of it and pulled me out.

Anyway, here's a fresh way start the month with.




Have you had your veggies today?

Jampacked Friday

I thought this was gonna be a breezy day.

I was wrong.

Had to pinch hit for a colleague (who was out on field work) and facilitate the administrative concerns as preparation for yet another field work next week which i will be joining as well. Destination: Puerto Galera in Oriental Mindoro. It's gonna be my 2nd time there, but that's another story.

And so while everyone else are enjoying the program during the birthday celebration of one of the agency's bosses, I was making calls and trying to control my irritation over some people's lack of concern for something that should've been attended to a couple of weeks before.

i had to sneak a peek for a while there

I was juggling other colleagues' work with mine. But with coordination and dogged persistence, i was finally able to reconcile some conflicts concerning next week's task. Problem solved.

By 6pm i was on my way to attend the birthday party of my officemate's kid.

the cute birthday boy

Rushed to the airport by 7:30pm to fetch colleagues from Laoag. Our office driver didn't want to go alone so i had to go with him to NAIA Terminal 2. Flight from Laoag was delayed so there wasn't anything else to do but wait and chat with the driver.

along the way
the Manila City Hall and the Clock Tower

The sacrifices you have to make in the exigency of the service. Oh well! As i usually say, things happen!

It's a Friday anyway. No work tomorrow and i can sleep all day if i want!

Back at work station by 11pm but still had time to check out a local watering hole nearby called Politika. The joint was rather small, but tastefully done. There was no live band (unlike the Panulukan just across the street) but they have soothing bossa music in the background. My only problem was the cigarette smoke.

Some of the artworks that decked the walls (and every other part) of the joint

But overall, the place is good for catching up with friends and chat the night away while enjoying Politika's house pizza -- a very simple one with onions, tomatoes, cream cheese, salted egg and mozzarella cheese as toppings.

first time to try a vodka mudshake
tasted kinda like Bailey's Irish Cream

Home by 1:30am. Tired and sleepy. It had been, however, a fulfilling day.

Good night.

His Lucky Day

Was at the mall with my buddy Manny to buy a birthday gift for an officemate's kid. Had a hard time picking a gift suitable for a 2-year old boy. Manny bought a toy truck, while i wanted something educational for the kid, but those kinds are way beyond my budget.

I ended up buying a toy piano. Manny said it was perfectly fine.

"Who knows, he might grow up to be an excellent pianist someday!" he said.

So after paying for the items, we went to the gift wrapping section where there was a long line of customers. Manny, being the gentleman that he is, offered to wait in line with our gifts as he let me look around the mall for a while.

I came back after a few minutes to check on him. He looked a little bored and perhaps a little worried about his bet at the OTB (off-track betting station) coz he was there before we headed for the nearby mall.

"Don't worry Manny, your bet will win." i said all of a sudden.

His mood brightened up for a while, and after our gifts have been wrapped, i headed home while Manny went back to the OTB.

= = =

Most times, i'd like to think that i have a certain kind of gift. Well, yeah, aside from the birthday gift that i bought. Coz whenever i blurt out something out of the blue, like when i say that something's gonna happen, it does happen!


And usually, the things i say are just like passing comments that i forget about after a few minutes.

= = =

So when i got home, i was surprised to get an SMS from Manny.

You're right Tsiki. I won 600 bucks from my bet. Have a good night.

I guess i should be blurting out more positive things then!

Baby

It was already dark when i got out of the office, but i still had to go to the nearby mall to get some personal stuff and pay for my cellphone bill.

I hated going to the mall by myself. But now i had to. I'll have no more shopping companion since he called it quits. And even if he said we'll remain friends, i don't think he can be able to accompany me on such activities. I can no longer invite him to go malling, or strolling at the park. He'll be accompanying someone else now.

There was no one else to tag along, so i had to grin and bear it this time. No one to talk with while waiting at the checkout counter and lining up at the bills payment section.

After almost 45 minutes, i finally boarded a jeepney headed home. Seated in front of me was a lovely pregnant woman with her husband. I usually don't mind other passengers in the jeepney. But when i saw the couple in front of me, memories began to flood my thoughts.

Memories that seemed like it was just yesterday...


"I want twins--a boy and a girl." I smiled my big, dreamy smile while we were cuddled up and having our usual talk sessions.

"You sure you want twins?" he asked, relishing the idea.

"Yeah, why not? We'll name the boy Denver, and the girl will be Aspen."

"That's great!" He kissed my forehead, caressed my cheek and buried his face in my hair.

"You'd be one hot momma. I wonder how you'd look like when you're pregnant already." He was teasing me again. He wanted to have babies--the sooner, the better.

"I'm sure i'll be one hot momma. But for now, i'm perfectly fine with my one and only baby--YOU! The twins can wait til we're stable enough to raise them, okay?" I gave him a tight hug and kissed him gently on his nose and a deep one on his lips.


I tried to shake it off and closed my eyes. But it was his face i saw at the back of my mind.

"Darn it!" I muttered while letting out a sigh.

He's with someone else now, and working hard to start a family.

I wonder if he still remembers that talk we had... when we were planning for our future together, with twins we'll call Denver and Aspen.

Maybe not anymore. He's got different plans now. And will be having a family of his own.

I looked outside and stared at the headlights of a car behind me til my eyes hurt and tears threaten to fall.

"Well," i thought "he's gonna have to think of other names for his kids now."

Gone Straight

me with my natural curls a month ago................ and me since Sunday

Vote for your favorite hairstyle!

Various Positions

Once again, here's the cat of the house, Ebony.

she likes to lean on our mattress

sometimes, on my sister's shoes

you'll also see her sleeping like this

and most times, curled up on our mattress.
She likes to lay on soft beddings.

Surrender

I may have the talent and creativity...

I may have the "grand idea"...

I may have done what others viewed as impossible...

But I'm no superwoman.

And sometimes, after weighing all the pros and cons...

there are cases when i have to accept that things are beyond my control.

So i had to tell the boss:

"We can't have the production number, sir."

To which the boss said:

"OK. Let's have the Plan B."

And it was fine with me-- and for most of us, who really cannot join the group for some unavoidable reasons.

I convince myself afterwards, "it's ok girl. It's not your fault. Next time will be better."

He Said, She Said...

He said:

Hi,
You asked me to explain my message that "I'm not the right person and you want something else now."
I last wrote you Oct 29 but you never responded so I assumed you werent interested in me.
But I saw your new photos. I liked the halloween ones and then later I saw a new main photo. I like you because you seem so playful and lively. I havent really seen the serious side that I think must be there from your psychology background and "field work." But Im a serious rather intellectual and introspective person. Im lively but not like in your halloween photo. So the contrast between how I imagine us seemed too much. I felt the age difference much more strongly, even though my ex was 27 years younger. Maybe where we are in our lives is too different?
Also I want to get married and I have the impression you are looking for a friend or an activity partner now.
What I wrote was just my feeling. I could be wrong because I really dont know you.
I hope I have answered your question. I would like to hear your response.




She said:

Hello,
I'm sorry you felt that way. I guess i was just too busy with a lot of things that i wasn't able to reply to your previous messages. It just happened that i was in the middle of things (some life-changing ones i'd rather not explain).

It's nice to know that you saw me as a fun person, contrary to what most people think, having the first impression that i'm all serious and boring. But wasn't it you who observed (from my profile) that i am a mixture of extremes? Aside from being a fun person, I am particularly an introspective person, if not very intellectual.

Yes, you don't know me very well. A lot of people can't understand my personality.

And right now, i'm not thinking about getting married yet. I have just come from a break-up a couple of months ago because my ex wanted to settle down already. And he couldn't wait, so he left. No, i'm not commitment phobic. It's just that i didn't feel i was ready. I'm sure i'll get to that point someday.

As of now, i'm building new friendships (while rekindling old ones and recovering lost ones).

So, yeah, maybe i'm not the right person coz you want something else now.

I hope my response was clear enough.

Down The Road

patiently, i waited,
but i waited in vain.
no, there won't be a final kiss.
there wasn't even a first kiss.
there was only a faint image
of your back towards me
and a deafening silence.

i reached for you,
only to find out
there wasn't anything to hold on to.
no outstretched hand,
no words of comfort,
nothing at all.

you never spoke of the words
i long to hear.
you only gave me promises,
sugar-coated words
that have lost their sweetness.
no meaning at all.

it's wrong to say i have lost you.
i never had your heart
like the way you had mine

and somewhere along the way...
you lost me.


- October 13, 2003

= = =

(was doing some cleaning yesterday when i stumbled upon my old notebooks. Brought back memories. I remember the boy, but i don't remember the feeling anymore. Haha! Y'all gonna see some more of these kind pretty soon!)

From behind!

I'm fond of taking pictures of people from behind. ;)

Don't know if there are serious psychological explanation for that. ;P

Untitled

When I’m in one of my silent moments,
please don’t ask me if I’m OK.

Obviously I am not.

I’m trying to calm
the turbulence within…
things beyond my control and understanding,
pervading irritations and unanswered questions.

You may attempt to get me talking
but you will not succeed.

Please don’t feel that you have a responsibility
to solve my problems.

If you could,
just be there for me.

Your presence is all that matters.

And when I’m letting out a sigh more than once,
or starting to pull my hair out of frustration,
could you please try to embrace me
and just make me feel that you’re there?

When everything is a blur,
a chaos,
when I feel like I can’t take it anymore,
your embrace will keep me from falling.

Your warmth is enough
to soothe the raging spirit
and calm the tempest within me.

I promise,

I won’t ask for anything more

October 2006

for someone who won't be there for me anymore

"Shall we dance?"

a question was asked
left hanging in the air.

ambivalence gets in the way
of an answer never verbalized.

like two people dancing the cha-cha:
you take one step forward
i take one step back.

but you turned around
as i was trying to step forward.

then i took one step back
just as you were coming
towards me.

if this is a game we play
then play just for the game's sake.

dance to the rhythm
but let not the rhythm take over.

i cannot make any promises,
but just go on with the kisses.

i may not always dance with you,
but keep asking me anyway.

One rainy night...

he laid down on my bed while i was sleeping. I was waken by the slight movement but i didn't open my eyes. I knew it was him because of the familiar scent he wears.

He was watching me sleep... with my back towards him. I felt him come closer until i felt his warm breath at the back of my neck. He wrapped his arm around my waist as he brushed aside my hair that partly covered my face, and he whispered my name... letting his lips brush past my ear... and ever so lightly grazing my neck and shoulder.

"Honey," the words escaped from my lips in a whisper, my eyes still closed. His arm around my waist wrapped tighter, then i felt his warm hand reaching for my breasts... the back of my neck was showered with butterfly kisses.

I turned towards him to meet his kisses, which are now getting deeper and deeper. Moans escaped his lips with every kiss... his hand caressing my already bare back.

It was cold outside, but i was wiping beads of sweat from his forehead. The pouring rain drowned every moan and sigh... and the dark of night concealed every touching, groping, caressing of hands and bodies intertwined.

The coldness of the night was filled with warmth... and tenderness. And although it was still dark, the union of two souls in love somehow lit up the room and made life a little more worthwhile.

The rain finally stopped. Beside him, with my head on his chest, i was peacefully listening to his heartbeat, contented with his arms wrapped around me. He began singing my favorite song. More like whispering, but i could clearly hear it.

He ran his fingers through my hair, still whispering my song. I closed my eyes and went back to sleep, keeping a snapshot of the moment in my head. For i know he won't be there beside me when i wake up in the morning.

where art thou, guardian angel?

Here's your song, A.

When I see your smile
Tears roll down my face
I can't replace

And now that I'm strong I have figured out
How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul
And I know I'll find deep inside me, I can be the one

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

It's ok, It's ok, It's ok

Seasons are changing and waves are crashing
And stars are falling all for us
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter
I can show you I'll be the one

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven
Cause you're my

You're my
My true love
My whole heart
Please don't throw that away
Cause I'm here, for you
Please don't walk away and
Please tell me you'll stay, stay...

Use me as you will
Pull my strings just for a thrill
And I know I'll be okay
Though my skies are turning gray

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

Test your I.Q.!

Extra Lines	Flash Games & Online Games

Of rediscovery and missed opportunities

I'm stuck at home today. It's been raining hard when i woke up this morning and i'm not feeling well. The dark skies makes it feel like it's 6pm when it's only almost 4pm.

I would've been meeting VIPs at the Manila Peninsula today. I've already psyched myself up to it. But i'm here at home.

Yeah, sh*t happens.

The "Corporate Attire" that i was supposed to wear today.

Funny part is, that outfit wasn't the first thing i had in mind when i was picking which dress to wear. Last time i wore it was 6 years ago for a job interview. When i entered the government four years ago, i couldn't wear the dress anymore because we have an office uniform and i have gained weight (body fat!) in six months. The dress was hung at the farthest side of the closet, waiting for the time when i could wear it again. I didn't have the heart to give it away.

And then i stumbled upon it last night. Thought of trying it on. And it fit!

But then again.....

Oh well!

(sighs and publishes this post)

These are the days....

I'm on caffeine overdose and having an adrenalin rush. Bad combination because now i'm having palpitations.

I have a ton of paperwork to do and the bureaucracy is really not helping me achieve my target for the day.

And i still haven't organized my ideas for a production number for the higher boss' birthday.

And i've been depriving myself of precious sleep for two days already. Blame it on the caffeine. Hehe!


= = =


Yesterday at the choir practice, we were shocked by an SMS we received from a fellow choirmate that another member of ours got admitted at the hospital due to fractured bone when she tripped herself on duty (she works at the hospital).


So before going home, we paid her a visit and found out that she'd been at the hospital since Saturday. She's going home today, and will be wearing that cast for two months.

the gang with (still-smiley-despite-the-injury) Ate Ruby

(Choir)master Robin ransacked the goodies (bantay-salakay, hehe!)

= = =

When i got home, Papa was running a high fever and was complaining of a splitting headache. So i gave him a spongebath (to lower his temperature), sprinkled a generous amount of baby powder on his back (to absorb perspiration) and gave him medicine.

I told my bro to keep watch but i couldn't sleep very well coz i couldn't help worrying about Papa. And when i was finally about to enter dreamland, i was abruptly awakened by bro, asking if he should wake dad up for another dose of medicine. I told him to let him sleep and just give him the medicine in the morning.

I had a hard time getting back to sleep after that. And i was late for work.

Not that i'm complaining. I'm worried, yes, but it's normal to worry (in my case, i panic most of the time) when a family member gets sick.

= = =

I'm already at the stage where i've forgiven dad about his shortcomings and our misunderstandings. And now that things have changed (and he has changed for the better), i just want to spend time with him and enjoy our time together, seeing him smile when i bring home something for him or when i tell a funny thing that happened to me at work.

Even if he's not very vocal about his feelings, I know deep inside that he loves us, his children. I love my dad. And i always pray that God would give him good health so he could enjoy more of what life has to offer.

And for the first time, I told Papa i love him. I think i'm gonna say it more often.

and those were the days...

It was just like any other working day yesterday. Not too heavy. But for unknown reasons (aside from the coffee i've been OD-ing on), after returning from another office, my heartbeat was pounding with no particular rhythm and i just felt like screaming my lungs out.

Later on i rationalized it was stress from the previous days manifesting itself just yesterday.

*sigh*

These days surely make me recall my out-of-town trips (official business or otherwise) and reminisce about the fun of just being out of the confines of my office cubicle!

Bataan with my choirmates

January and April 2007

one morning in Orani (still wearing my PJs).......and at the foot of the cross at Mt. Samat

Baguio City

Quezon Province (with officemates)

2005

After climbing the Grotto Doloroso (with 300 steps and a larger-than-life station of the cross)

Batangas

March 2007

taking a short break (nap?)

DTTB Monitoring 2005

need i say where?

Davao City

upon landing at the airport!

Not exactly out of town

my dancegroup in Quezon City......... and revisiting Fort Santiago

So-So Weekend

Missed my Saturday jog again. Oh well, things happen.

So, I just used the time to do my chores at home! Yup. I had a week's worth of laundry, some dusting and sweeping to do and volunteered to cook for lunch. But that's okay. I've been doing those things since i was little (and i'm still little, with a 5'2" height, hehehe!). And i had the time and energy yesterday, unlike the past weeks when i've been exhausted with work and i couldn't do anything else when i get home but eat a little and sleep.

It's a good thing that work is not heavy lately. I get to catch up on some other important things like chatting up with my cousins (we live in the same area but we rarely see each other coz of our busy schedules), attending choir practice (dami ko nang utang 'Bin! hehehe!), spending time with my family, and yes--household chores.


Sunday is my rest day. After attending mass, have lunch and just have an easy, lazy day. Pig out on some munchies while watching movies on DVD, or update my blog, maybe?--just so we can show Mom that we have a life even if it's not that interesting.

Hello Mother!

Oh wait, I have to work on a presentation. Well, more like a production number. It's for the boss' birthday on the 23rd.

Will be meeting with the other boss for approval. And then there's the rehearsal, the costumes, the set, lighting.... okay, i gotta go.

And i hope your weekend had been more interesting than mine.
;P

To those who are curious about the song Alamona (Alam mo na: a tagalog phrase meaning "you-know-what")

It's performed by a band who call themselves Endofcontracts (yup, it's spelled as one word). This indie music was used in the soundtrack of an indie movie titled Boso, starring Katya Santos and Jeffrey Quizon.

The band's album is said to be available in record stores nationwide. I'm goin' to check it out later.

Anyway, here's a rough translation of its lyrics:

I told you it's okay
I'm not the jealous type
and i know you've got someone else in your life
I won't be demanding to be squeezed
in your very tight schedule

And I'll always be here waiting
even if it means being your #2
just as long as i have....

your sweet kisses and you-know-what...
The way you touch my heart
makes up for the times you're not here
with me 'cause yoiu're with someone else

And when you wake up in the morning
you'll be leaving me again
'Cause you'll go back to your "real world"
and pretend that you're okay
and completely happy with him/her.

When will you be mine, all mine?

Your sweet kisses and you-know-what
To wake up in your arms with no one else between us
The touch of your hand and you-know-what
and the neverending affection that overwhelms me.

Pinoy Indie

Bro showed me this clip the other day and i instantly "fell in love" with it. Kaka-aliw! It's now one of my current faves!

It's Always There...

(If the music doesn't play, try clicking one of the videobox at the sidebar)

Typecast - Infatuation is always there

I understand what you’re trying to sayNo need to say it, I am leavingBut don’t walk away, just stay right thereI’ll fall and i’ll just look at you
I’ll just look at you
I don’t know why i always feel like thisIt’s hard to breathe when you’re aroundYour big blue eyes are drowning me to sleepThe space is tearing meOh stay please stay
Words are not importantSmiles are all i need from youThe yearning, it’s getting strongerI’m dumb, i hope you like me too
You’re two tables away, you could see me mezmerisedI want to talk to you but im so scaredBefore i never cared, infatuation’s never thereBut now it’s killing me
I really hate myselfI really hate myself

= = =

He'd been talking about leaving for quite some time and i've been hearing people talk about it as well. I just shrugged it off before. But now, just thinking about the people who are planning to leave makes me feel sad.

And empty.

But then again, here's a nice thought to ponder on.....




The leaves of the trees just keep falling...


Lesson?

It's not always right for us to keep someone forever. Most of the time, we have to let them go.

Yet, we are still standing.

Childhood Memory

Have you ever had a scary childhood memory? Have you ever had disturbing feelings evoked by a certain character from a cartoon movie you've seen when you were younger?


Call me weird. This is what freaked me out when i first saw it when i was a kid:

the Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland

= = =

Yesterday, my sister happened to buy me a yellow (my favorite color) shirt with this design:

Yup, it's the same cat

She tossed me the shopping bag and said with a grin: "i know this freaked you out when you were young, that's why i bought this for you."

That's how my sister shows her love for me. ;P

Commercial Muna!

Sitting Pretty!

Once again, here's Ebony!

she likes to sit like this.
Really. It's not done with photoshop.

and she loves to sit on my favorite malong!

Hmm, when it says shapeshifter, does it mean i'm "plastic"? Hehehe.

Here's another quiz that manifests my bipolar characteristic.

What Your Handwriting Says About You

You are sometimes a very energetic person, but you are sometimes quite lethargic. You're moody, prone to ups and downs, and you don't have a lot of endurance. You range from very outgoing to very shy. You are a shapeshifter who is very versatile. You adapt well, and you look at things from many angles. You are balanced and grounded. You know how to get along well with others. You need a bit of space in your life, but you're not a recluse. You expect people to give you a small amount of privacy, and you respect their privacy as well. You are somewhat traditional, but you are also open to change. You listen to your head and your heart. You are a decent communicator. You eventually get your point across, but sometimes you leave things a bit ambiguous.

What Does Your Handwriting Say About You?

Thankful...

I've got a lot to be thankful for today.

= = =


For the first time in more than 10 years, I heard my dad said he's going to church. I was so moved by those words that it made me wanna go with him and even told my siblings that we should all go to show dad our support and have that one day for our family to do one thing together.


= = =


Dad won at the Barangay elections last October 29.

A couple of months back, he'd been telling us that he wants to run for a barangay position. It's kind of a family tradition since my late grandfather and two uncles had been active leaders/officials in our neighborhood. I, too, was not spared by the call of public service when i ran for Sangguniang Kabataan and held office from 1996-1999.


= = =


For a couple of months now, Papa had been 95% alcohol-free. We've been talking more and I feel closer to him now. I can feel that his mood has become lighter and his temper is not like before. He laughs more and smiles more nowadays.

Plus, Papa and Mama had been talking more lately through voice chat and they can see each other through webcam. Thanks to faster internet connection at home.


= = =


I have a good feeling that things are getting better.

And I am thankful.


= = =


My family has never been big on hugs or any display of affection. We seldom say "i love you" and seldom talk about usual family stuff at the dinner table.

But these are gonna change, i'm sure. I can feel it now.


= = =


I've always prayed for my dad and my mom.
I've always prayed for my family and loved ones.
And God has answered my prayers.
I am forever thankful.
God is good.


= = =


Now perhaps i could pray for myself this time.
;)

Gone for the Weekend: Subic!

I missed jogging yesterday.

Kuya Buddy (my balikbayan cousin from Vegas) will be going back to the States in a couple of days and he wanted to have some bonding time with the whole family (cousins, uncles and aunts) so he treated us all to an out of town trip. Destination: the beach at Subic.

Funny thing while we were on the road:

We were so careful not to violate the traffic rules enforced inside Subic so we waited patiently for the red light to go green. But it took a little longer and we were thinking the traffic light must be out of order. We kept looking at our back and saw the line behind us. Some of us were prodding ChoBobot (my uncle and designated driver) to go ahead anyway but after quite some time, (thank heavens!) the lights changed to green.

= = =

It was a warm day and the water was calm but we didn't dare take a dip yet as the sun was scorchingly hot. The boys opted to play, though!

the more athletic ones played beach football while artistic bro built sand castles

Late afternoon was our time to dip in the water which was starting to get cold. Did my own style of swimming--some pseudo-backstroke and some floating tricks here and there (uh, freestyle?) which i reckoned was equivalent to my Saturday jog. So i'm not a good swimmer. So what? ;P

Kuya Buddy was the center of attention when he fooled around in the water (like taking off his shorts and waving it in the air for all of us to see, and some other things i shouldn't be mentioning here) that got us all laughing and cheering for him.

Yup, we were a rowdy bunch. And we enjoyed every minute of it.

see the smiles in our faces?
Naah! But look at that backdrop!
Who wouldn't be captivated by the scene behind us?

Scary?

That's my bro!

;P

Pretty Little Seashells...

NOT!

They're actually seashell-shaped chocolates.

Nice to look at..... better to eat!

;)

Bittersweet Love

I liked this song when i heard it a couple of years back because of its beat and melody.

Who would've thought i'd find this song again? and now i can so relate to its lyrics.

You took my handYou showed me how
You promised me you'd be around
Uh huh
That's right

I took your words
And I believed
In everything
You said to me
Yeah huh
That's right

If someone said three years from now
You'd be long gone
I'd stand up and punch them out
Cause they're all wrong

I know better
Cause you said forever
And ever
Who knew

Remember when we were such fools
And so convinced and just too cool
Oh no
No no

I wish I could touch you again
I wish I could still call you friend
I'd give anything

When someone said count your blessings now
'fore they're long gone
I guess I just didn't know how
I was all wrong

They knew better
Still you said forever
And ever
Who knew
Yeah yeah

I'll keep you locked in my head
Until we meet again
And I won't forget you my friend
What happened

If someone said three years from now
You'd be long gone
I'd stand up and punch them out
Cause they're all wrong and
That last kiss
I'll cherish
Until we meet again
And time makes
It harder
I wish I could remember
But I keep
Your memory
You visit me in my sleep
My darling
Who knew
My darling
My darling
Who knew
My darling
I miss you
My darling
Who knew
Who knew

Weekend Run

I said i'm gonna do it again, and so i did!

Nevermind that my feet was tortured by the killer boots yesterday. Nothing's gonna stop me from this now. Except maybe the rain but hey, there's such a thing called treadmill at my aunt's place so i have no reason not to pursue this newfound addiction that i have. ;P

Unlike last week, there are no special attractions today. (I wonder if we broke Ireland's record for the most number of dancers gathered in a dance routine? We'll see about that later.) But today we have a new addition to the bunch!

Si Apple! She's my aunt's niece (in her husband's side, so she's not my cousin) and my younger sister's batchmate in gradeschool. So, y'all can say we're not pretty close (with the age gap and the fact that we rarely see each other) and as usual, my introversion gets in the way.

All throughout the drive to Luneta Grandstand, we were silent at the backseat, laughing occasionally when my uncle cracks a joke or tells a funny story about his younger days. All throughout the drive i was thinking of a good opening for a conversation or at least some small talk. I was telling myself go ask anything! It's gonna be almost 2 hours of walking and jogging and it's pretty damn awkward to act as if you don't know each other.

So i started with a simple how do you do?. And that made the ball rolling. It may not be a very engaging conversation filled with profound words, but at least i got her talking! The whole 2-hour session was fun. We did three rounds at the CCP Main Building ramp and even made fun of the group of guys who passed us by.

We stopped by the market before going home, and while my aunt and uncle do their shopping, Apple and i stayed in the car and talked while we wait for them. Aside from a few silent moments, we were alright. We made fun of some campaign posters of candidates for the barangay elections, we talked about places we've been in and places we wish to explore, and shared some commute bloopers. We were laughing until it was time to go home.


= = =


Now i'm thinking. She was another person who saw my extrovert side--my crazy side. Most of my relatives' and neighbors' (people outside work and school) impression about me is i'm a shy, straight A and boring type of person. It's only just recently that i have let them see my extroverted side.

Most people think i'm a weird person because i got accelerated in gradeschool and i took up psychology in college (close to being untouchable). Well, i can be weird sometimes (we all have our quirks) but i can be fun, too!

When people meet me the first time, people think i'm a chinita snob. But i'm not. Most times, i'm just quietly assessing the other person and also thinking of a good line to start a conversation. Or maybe there were instances when i didn't notice the other person when i'm walking on the street coz i'm so focused on getting to my destination (or maybe i was deep in my thoughts!).

I'm not perfect. I'm not an all-knowing person. I can be slow sometimes. I'm not a chinita snob.

So next time you see me, go ahead and say hi. Make your presence known when you see me walking down the street. As long as i don't get rubbed the wrong way, i won't bite. And you might just see the sweetest chinita smile you've never seen before that could add some more sunshine to your day.

= = =

Have a great weekend!

killer boots

Need i say more?

;P

Trick or Treat!

Pics from the recently concluded DOH Kids' Holloween Party 2007.

And yeah, the kids-at-heart had a little bit of fun as well!

My Heart Smiles Once More!

I got this on SMS yesterday, from an old friend:

until one morning,
i'll wake up and find
i'm thinking about something else,
and then i'll know the worst is over...

my heart might be bruised,
but it will recover
and become capable of seeing
the beauty of life once more...

it happened before,
it will happen again, i'm sure...
when someone leaves,
it's because someone is about to arrive...

i'll find love again.

Me On Top!

Once again, i broke the record!

the office logbook
and that's my name on top!

Still, i admit i'm not a morning person. ;P