Friday Random Thoughts

Another Friday. Another workday has passed. Another workweek... (feel free to add some of your thoughts to the list of "another ______ has passed")

I guess it's gonna be the theme of today's post. Or maybe not.

Random thoughts don't necessarily need a theme, right?

Or they wouldn't be called random thoughts at all.

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Anyway...

I was in rant mode the past few days this week. Work has never been so toxic.

And then there are some "personal stuff" to take care of. There are always some things to do, to take note of, to consider, to facilitate, to work on, to think about. WHAT EVARRR!

I found myself in the middle of a mess that mostly people other than myself has created.

Yeah, i usually get to be the "clean-up" girl.

Or the female version of the "incredible absorbing man".

I am calm... I'm serene
Not a word is getting through to me when you scream.
I'm a sponge... I soak it up
All the crap you put me through won't make me give up.
Because I'm the incredible absorbing girl /woman
And I'm gonna do the best i can 'til you finally understand.

I will never falter... I will never quit!

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I'm not one to "wash my dirty laundry in public" or rant in detail. I know there's no perfect family. Mine isn't perfect, either. Every member has their own quirks. I may not be able to tolerate them sometimes but i just have to grin and bear it.

Yeah, i suffer in silence.

Thank God for coping mechanisms.

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Around this time last year, i was also "fighting" a different battle within me which manifested a couple of months later when i couldn't keep it any longer.

I didn't have a lot of "diversions" during those times except go to church and sing to get my mind out of it. And in the end, it did help me a lot in coping with the situation.

Acceptance is sometimes a bitter pill but you just gotta swallow it.

I'm over it now.

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Kinda ironic that i was thinking about killing myself a couple of hours earlier. But i slapped myself out of it, counted all the people around me and figured out that they're still few.

Gusto ko maraming iiyak pag namatay ako. Lalung-lalo na yung lahat ng nagpaiyak sa'kin. Hehehe!

No, it's not funny. I know.

Now's a different battle. But i will prevail.

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I've been holding it in for quite some time.

I've had days when i would cry without knowing why. Or laugh over the most mundane of things. Most days i just wanna pull my hair out of frustration or let out a couple of deep sigh--an alternative to shouting my lungs out.

There's something within that badly needed some form of release.

And then i saw red.

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I'm ok.

This, too, shall pass.

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Happy weekend!

And see you next month!
;)