She runs...

... to let off steam. Because she felt she was lead on.

... to clear her head. Because she is confused.

... to calm herself. Because she's euphoric and anxious at the same time.

... to keep steady. Because once again, she's falling.

Niños Inocentes

from Wikipedia:

Niños Inocentes is commemorated on December 28 as Holy Innocents' Day or Childermas in other countries. The innocents referred to are the children who are massacred by order of Herod who was seeking the death of the newborn Messiah.

/

I've been chatting with this guy over YM for a couple of days already and we finally agreed to meet up today at the mall. He said he was 27 years old. I'm 28. Okay, the one year difference is not a big deal.

So when i saw him, i told myself, "not bad." He was 5'9" tall, fair skinned, and good-looking! I won't go into details on how the meet-up went. But generally, it was OK.

Later at home, we were still chatting online. However, he confessed that his age was younger than what he told me earlier. Waaay younger.

Aww shucks! So that explains why i have observed some manifestations, but i chose to ignore it.

/

Don't know why i'm trying to connect Niños Inocentes with the earlier meet-up. I've just remembered something that the older folks used to say about Niños Inocentes being like April Fools' Day. And then i found this site, but i don't think it's of much help.

/

Just wondering..... who's the innocent here and who got "massacred."

Ready, Willing and Able!

I am ready for love
Why are you hiding from me
I'd quickly give my freedom
To be held in your captivity

I am ready for love
All of the joy and the pain
And all the time that it takes
Just to stay in your good grace

Lately I've been thinking
Maybe you're not ready for me
Maybe you think I need to learn maturity
They say watch what you ask for
Cause you might receive
But if you ask me tomorrow
I'll say the same thing

I am ready for love
Would you please lend me your ear?
I promise I won't complain
I just need you to acknowledge I am here

If you give me half a chance
I'll prove this to you
I will be patient, kind, faithful and true
To a man who loves music
A man who loves art
Respect's the spirit world
And thinks with his heart

I am ready for love
If you'll take me in your hands
I will learn what you teach
And do the best that I can

I am ready for love
Here with an offering of
My voice
My Eyes
My soul
My mind
Tell me what is enough
To prove I am ready for love
I am ready

Merry Christmas!

Maligayang Pasko - in Tagalog, my native tongue
Feliz Navidad - in Spanish
Feliz Natal - in Portugese
Buone Feste Natalizie - in Italian
Frohliche Weihnachten - in German
Joyeux Noel - in French

= = =

I'm still down with the cold, double-teamed with cough. But Christmas is Christmas! Food is overflowing and relatives are here. I just had to greet them at a certain distance this time (so as not to spread my virus). Too bad i can't mingle with them. My virus is pretty tough! But i still have time to rest tomorrow as i have scheduled another LOA.

My uncles and cousins are having fun right now, drinking and videoke-singing. Guess i just have to enjoy listening to them as one of my uncles make fun of the song lyrics (he's great at improv!).

= = =

Here's one nice vid i found for this season.



= = =

Have a great Christmas everyone!

Thank You!

Strangers at one point, good friends in time.
Nobody knows how our world works. It's a matter of time when you truly appreciate a person. A matter of fate: where the right people are at the right place & at the right time.
Nobody understands how the universe conspired for us to meet the people we'll love or have connections with.
But then, it just happens, you click and the story begins.


To you, dear friend, thank you for being part of my story.

You Can't Have It All!

This year's lantern did not win any prize.

And as for our production number, we got 2nd prize. Our Cluster usually bags the top prize. But this time, we were second best out of three entries.

Yes, i am very much disappointed. The turnout of events was not worth the sacrifices i made.

But then, yeah, one can't have it all.

Screw them.
>:P

Bureau Christmas Party

It's my 5th Christmas Party with the Bureau, and i'm getting a little nostalgic.

I remember my first Christmas with them, when i was a newbie. I entered the government service in November, and in a few days i've already noticed that the office has different groups (factions may be the most suitable word). But hey, wala namang perfect na organization diba?

Every office has its ups and downs. But when December comes, people here set aside their differences to work together for the season's activities (the annual lantern parade, the production numbers/performances for the agency-wide Christmas party and competitions). I don't care if they're just being "plastic" to one another. All i care about is that even if we have our differences (and some quarrels), we still try to tolerate each other for the sake of Christmas and get together like one big family. Call me naive, but that's just how i see things. I always try to focus on what is good.

In this year's Christmas Party, they gave me the heads up for the program and games. I look at each happy face. I thank God for moments like this. The Bureau has had its changes in personnel lineup (some had been called back by The Big Boss Up There, while some moved to other offices and some others were already retirees), but nevertheless, we are still one big family celebrating the joyous season.

Merry Christmas, HHRDB!

"one step closer to the edge, and i'm about to break!"

I was supposed to be on leave today. But i still went to work. I had my LOA scheduled earlier but now that the party is in two days, i'm up to my neck with activities.

The day started very early for me. Sang in the dawn mass at 5:00 am. Cold caught me already. Then i had to learn the moves that i would be teaching my cluster mates for the production number we'll be performing for the Christmas party in two days. And i'm still about to come up with a program for tomorrow's Bureau Christmas Party.

Call time for the practice was 10:00AM. People arrived a couple of hours later. Waaay later! And yet what we're practicing is supposed to be an entry for a competition.

Let this be the last time things like these happen. I think i've done enough sacrifices already.

Cold Case

Feeling extremely thirsty even after having gulped almost a liter of water. My throat feels parched still. Voice getting hoarse. Signs that i'm going down with a cold. Remind myself to take extra doses of vitamin C.

Can't get sick now. There are things to do: sing in the Misa de Gallo (dawn mass), practice for the DOH Christmas party presentation, plan the program for the Bureau Christmas party.

*sigh*

It's always been like this--getting sick during the Christmas season. This should be the time when work is not hectic and people shop for gifts, but it's the opposite for me. I couldn't squeeze gift shopping in my tight schedule. Rehearsals for production numbers take most of my time after office hours. But in the previous years, i was still able to push through things.

my one minute of fame during last year's Christmas presentation.
partida, may sipon pa ako nyan! hehehe!

this presentation won grand prize

I hope i could still survive the Christmas rush this year.

Let's keep our fingers crossed!

this is how we do it

Back at the office today just in time for the annual lantern parade. Since our "resident jack-of-all-trades" Ekyu left the Bureau, the task of coming up with an entry for our office was delegated to other personnel who also have artistic skills. Last year's lantern (that got the "Most Creative" Award) was conceptualized by Tsari and worked on by some officemates.

Meanwhile, this year's lantern was conceptualized by another colleague whose forte is with native materials. It's less colorful than our previous lanterns, but it's got a class of its own.

Awarding of winners is on Friday, so keep tuned in!

you gotta be this lucky...

I bought this pair of shoes three days ago. I've saved up enough money to buy a decent pair of running shoes as an external motivation for my weekly jog.

Price Tag: US$46 (roughly Php 1,900++)







The next day, my sister sent me an SMS that a package arrived from our cousins in Las Vegas and this pair of shoes was being sold for Php500. My brother picked this out for me, knowing that i've been wanting to buy running shoes.






The initial reaction was: "Whaat! Should i've known that there's a package coming, I never would've bought those shoes that cost me almost two thousand freaking pesos!"

But when the shock wore off, I had a grin on my face and told myself, "I only wanted one. Now i got two pairs of running shoes!"

There's nothing better than this.
;)

walking by myself from the office

7:30 PM

Passed by the chapel but its huge doors were already closed. So i just uttered my thanksgiving prayer while i walked towards the covered walkway near Finance Building. The leaves of the trees were rustling and i felt the cool December wind blowing when i reached the open space of the compound. I closed my eyes for a while and inhaled deeply, feeling the wind on my face. I thank God for moments like that.

Out on the street, past the intersection, towards the other streetcorner where fruit vendors were lined up beside one another. My nose was pleasantly bombarded y the smell of mandarin oranges. I would've bought some to bring home but my hands were already full.

Colorful lanterns were hung everywhere. Christmas lights dance before my very eyes to the tune of "Jingle Bells". Loudspeakers in front of the beauty parlors fill my ears with Christmas songs. I smiled a little smile. But it was my heart that smiled the widest.

The night was brighter. And despite the cold weather, I have this warm feeling inside me that makes me feel good. It's telling me that things are gonna get better. I was happy.

I never noticed these things before when i walked these streets with somebody. And during the first few weeks when i had no choice but to walk by myself, i was always afraid and in tears. But lately, i'm getting the hang of it.

The night was brighter. The sounds were clearer. The mood was lighter. Everywhere i turn, the things i see make me thank God for the small but meaningful things around me.

Every smile i see was greeted back with a smile. But it was my heart that smiled the widest.

;)

accomplishment

i don't know if i should be proud of this considering i was just a "filler" for the course. But with all the new learning i've benefited from it, i think i should be.

and it's kinda like an "i passed a bloody week of studying" certificate.

;P

lots of things can change in a matter of seven days

It's good to be back home!

I can see familiar faces as i got my luggage from the taxi and dragged myself to the gate of our compound.

But wait... it's the same house, but it feels different.

Perhaps because it was tidier than when i left it?
Or because it was brighter then usual?

It's still the same house.

Perhaps i just got used to living by myself in my hotel room for a week, with its dim lighting, continuous flow of water, airconditioning, no pollution (i hate cigarette smoke!), no dishes to wash, no laundry.

I went outside to see children have grown so fast! In a week's time! Gee, i spent seven days cooped up inside the hotel for a training and.... i missed out on a lot of things!

in the blink of an eye....
....someone, somewhere celebrates his/her birthday
....someone is mending a broken heart
....someone is forced to "grow up" fast and leave childish things behind.

Seven days felt like seven years already.

I'm glad to be back home.

can u tell me again why i'm here?

First day of class for the Project Development & Management Course for Local Health Implementors.

Is it just me or am i really not supposed to be here?
1. All of the participants are from the Local Government Units of Oriental Mindoro except me (and two other colleagues from the Central Office)
2. Most of them are doctors, budget officers, BAC officers, etc from their respective units. In short, the course is tailor-made for them.
3. I was informed that i should attend this today, but the rest were already in the venue since yesterday.
4. I get the feeling that i'm gonna be a filler again. Like last time.


But then...
1. As i have said, it's a good excuse to get out of the office.
2. This will be useful someday.
3. Not everybody gets this kind of opportunity to be sent to a training of this kind even if i'm just a "filler."

So, might as well, take in whatever learning there is to absorb from this course and have fun!

we all have to go through bad days but hey, you can't have everything

updates, updates.

yeah, it's been a while since my last post.

i was supposed to be at Puerto Galera a couple of weeks ago but i backed out at the last minute because i needed to wallow again in my "miserable ex-girlfriend who got dumped twice and i really need to hide in my shell" mode. I was even about to do something really stupid that i would regret later on, but i was talked out of it by a very good pal. And the rest, so they say, is history.


= = =


Finally!
Done with grieving. Dealt with denial. Here comes acceptance and a newfound confidence.

And happier days....

and opportunities...

and lots of good stuff i have denied/deprived myself of in one way or another because i have been obsessing over something that i'm not supposed to have right now.

I'm at a stage i would call re-focusing.
Getting my feet back to the road i once walked on before i got sidetracked by some of this life's distractions.


= = =


Part of this re-focusing thingy is attending a one-week course on Project Development and Management starting tomorrow.

It's time once again to absorb some new learning experiences. Plus, it's another excuse to get out of the office!


= = =


*sigh*


the worst is over.
the rainclouds gave way to sunshine.
the flowers seem to be more colorful these days.
and i'm having this warm feeling inside that makes the cold December nights a little more bearable.


= = =


As always, I'm thankful and will always be grateful that someone up there loves me still.

May we always remember to count our blessings no matter how difficult these times may be.

Cheers!

It's good for you!

It's good to be back to blogging and writing about happy things again as i had been sucked by the "blue bug" and couldn't get out of the "black hole" for a couple of weeks. Good thing there are people i call friends who helped me snap out of it and pulled me out.

Anyway, here's a fresh way start the month with.




Have you had your veggies today?