on death and dying

Tita came home today without the usual funfare

She was particularly silent, not her usual gay self

No high pitched laugh, no American twang

We should be all smiles upon meeting her

but we were all crying.

We missed tita so much and now she's home

But what should be a happy reunion

is now a sad family gathering

Tita came home today

for the Lord has finally called her.

She is home indeed.

(Tita died July last year. We had her babang-luksa yesterday)

= = =

Now why would I be writing about death and dying?

Well, for one, we had just commemorated my aunt's death anniversary yesterday. Here in the Philippines, we have this custom we call babang-luksa. Literally, it means we stop mourning a year after the death of a loved one or family member. Elderly women lead the prayers, then lunch or snacks are served depending on the time of the day the family preferred the ritual done.

After I had my snack, I went to St. Lazarus Shrine for the anticipated mass. Afterwhich the choirmaster told us that we'll be singing for a funeral mass nearby which will be officiated by our parish priest.

On my first year of being a church choir member, I was usually making up excuses not to come with the choir to sing on funeral mass. The thing is, even if I am not related to the departed, seeing the family members left behind mourning makes me cry so easily. It took some time before I could go with the choir and be able to concentrate on singing rather that absorbing the mourners' loss and having a sob fit. Well that's how weird I am.

The homily went on like: we should not view death as an enemy and we should not be afraid of death.

I once read from a book by Leo Buscaglia that those who scream loudest from their deathbeds are those who have not lived fully. Perhaps they need to reconcile with other people--to forgive or ask forgiveness themselves. Perhaps they are worried about those people they'd be leaving behind. Or perhaps they can't let go yet. The priest said we have to accept that we all die. Una-una nga lang.

It is often said that life is short so we should enjoy every moment of it. Savor every minute, every breath we take. After seeing quite a number of deaths (family members and those I know of) I am now consciously taking steps in enjoying this life God has given me. I may slack off once in a while, getting contented with living in the sidelines. But I constantly push myself to go out there, dive in the middle and play an active part in this big stage we are in. I may not land the lead role, but at least I tried. Better than nothing, isn't it?

No matter what role we play in life, may we always give it our best shot. I constantly remind myself those things whenever I see myself backsliding. I can say I am a work in progress.

Here's a nice thing to ponder on:
"When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life in such a way that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice." -- Author unknown

Have a good day everyone and may we all live a full life.